I apologize, this post has absolutely nothing to do with Randy Jackson, we used his names for ratings. What we're really talking about here is...
Simple Tips to Kill a Dog!
Do you have a pesky mutt? A dirty pup? Or simply a pussy hound? (not that kind)
Well look no further! Because I have tips that will make killing them easier!
Tip #1: Submerging them in water confuses them
Tip #2: Doggy + Electricity = Inviting the latino neighbours over for barbeque
Tip #3: Invite Rachel Ray over...maybe the dog will kill itself so you dont have to get your hands dirty
Tip #4: Tell the cops it was merely a domestic dispute and you had no intentions to hang your dog from the rafters, nor do you have any idea who could have put a noose around your dogs neck...call Haratio from CSI: MIAMI.
Tip#5: If you plan on eating it, eat only the hindquarters and the fleshy groin meat, not only is it the most nutritious, its the most delicious
Well, I hope this has helped! Be sure to write! Bye!
(PigeonStew does not in anyway condone dog murder, the PigeonStew team only eats tofu because we don't even condone plant murder, thus they do not eat vegetables and fill up only on raw creatine powder. But back to the subject, don't really kill your dog and say it was our fault because we told you to, sit down with your dog and talk through your differences like a gentleman, you made an oath "forever do us part"...remember?)