Saturday, May 2, 2009

Man I Want Some!

Everybody Stop!
It's fresh, it's new, plus everyone on "The Hills" is doing it...hellz yeah!
You can get it anywhere! Your local smoke shop, your girlfriend, or doing such routine things like yoga near your local garbage dump. It's insanium. I heard it's the new opium, and everyone knows how popular opium is. It's going around like a portly yet curious thirteen year old boy at a highschool party, his name is Gary, he got some alcohol in him, and he's going to town!

To top it off, it's from our favourite place to love, as long as the natives aren't around. You guessed it! The land of the beaners, Mehico! This one is a big'un boys and girls. It's a mutated form of Swine Flu. Where if you're from Jerusalem it's called Mexico Flu (obviously because "swine" flu is not Kosher, and therefore causes serious problems for their whole "no pork dudes!" rule). If you're from any other country it's called Hybrid Flu, because it's a combination of Swine, Avian and Human Flu! (Yeah...hybrid, like George Clooney's car, that man ages so well) Now I don't know about you, but I want in on this! Human intelligence, wings of a bird and the, loving stamina of a pig! Oh and if you live in the States, or if you're Mr. Obama it's called F1 H1, or something super classy like that... just like him...saying "look at me! I'm president!" With his fancy words and skin colour. They think F1H1 is less terrifying...I disagree, everyone has a nice memory of a pig, snuggling, loving, just truly beautiful animals, whereas F1H1 reminds me of the Holocaust, thanks Obama! It sounds like something grown in a freaking test tube in Obama's secret laboratory, just to lower the population of the middle class. Well if you want to get in on this crazy new train of excitement and fast living, I'd get out and start licking handrails and doorknobs immediately, not to mention hang out in as many tight crowded and congested places such as buses, Chuckie Cheese's, and your local Meth Addict Clinics.

Check out the new craze's poster, did somebody say rad? Oh sorry, that was just the wind proclaiming its love.

*note that symptoms of Hybrid Flu are similar to symptoms of Pigeon Stew Flu, making it pretty ... shall I dare say it? Pimptastic.

Until later,
Stay classy San FranDISCO

Chowda Chops and Foxy ( its sleepover night)

No comments:

Post a Comment