Hello fellow nymphos,
Today is a terrible day, it is the day that middle aged females all over the planet are told to shamelessly hang their heads in shameful shame. Today is the day which we use to remind them of the terrible thing they have done, through taunting and often physical abuse. ...thus making them mothers. We will not disclose what this one rule is, because this forum is not a "let's learn about religion" forum, if you wanted that...screw you.
Today, I sadly report, is mother's day. I expect that the suicide rate shall peak today around 2 PM Eastern Time, both in the middle age woman demographic, as well as the slightly funnier yet slightly more depressing demographic of those whos mothers died in lebionic rituals that we will no longer speak of...they're disgusting.
How ever all is not grim. For I was not born as a result of sexual reproduction. I was born in a much friendlier fashion...and it's not through the bum...
As a result, my egg was fertilized externally by my father, Sperm Doner 1134-A7, with a geriatric hose. And that, my friends is why me and my mom are spending the day together smiling, getting lost in eachother's eyes, maybe some frivolous dancing, and drinking the blood of those who killed themselves.
Happy Mothers Day Dumbasses,